I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
