just tell him i said nine months
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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