I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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