i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Randomize
