Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
