I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
