Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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