I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
