After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
