LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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