Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We have started to decorate penises.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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