So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
