its not stalking. its research.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
