toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
