i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
