best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize