TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
