ugly people sure do ruin things
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
