After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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