I am puke
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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