I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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