Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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