4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
