i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
