no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
