have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
