Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
