But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
