I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
