You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
