...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
