You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Holy sore nipples Batman
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
