My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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