Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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