I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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