Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
