Yo dont text me then not text me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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