i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize