Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
