Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
No subtext here. People are naked.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
