New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
40s are totally the cure
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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