.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
