Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize