Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
