I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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