my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
