I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
