You're my little dorito
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize