I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
operation harelip BJ is a go
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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