you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
