How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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