Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
