Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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