Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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