i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
