so explain again why im purple
no
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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