I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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