That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
