i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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