This is not my ceiling
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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