hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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