Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
