It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
